One of the first big steps of how to get back your wife is opening the lines of communication. If you are unable to learn where the true issues are then how will you be able to repair them? You just don’t pop the hood on the car when something is wrong. You listen to how the car acts and get an idea of where the problem lies as part of the diagnostics. A relationship is essentially no different.
However a conversation between an estranged couple is often very difficult. Many times it will devolve into an angry yelling match with emotions ruling the situation instead of compassion and understanding. This will not help circumstances. So it is up to you to take the proper steps of preparation to get your wife back.
Write Her a Letter
This is an easier way to open the dialogue. It is non-confrontational and allows her a chance to digest what you are saying. Let her know you want to talk about the issues you are having but you do not want to argue. In preparation you would like to lay some ground rules to make it a positive experience.
- Make a list – Each one of you should write two lists. The first should be things the other does that bothers you or annoys you. The second should be all the things you love about your partner or enjoy that they do.
- Meet publicly – A nice outdoor location like a park is perfect. Typically people are less prone to lose their cool in a public setting and being in another place other than the scenes of previous battles can provide freshness to the situation.
- Agree to be civil – It can be hard but try to focus on the conversation. State you will each take turns reading a single item from the list and explaining why it bothers you with the other person just listening. This is not time to be defensive and argue. It is a time to listen and learn what is bothering your partner and let your partner know what is bothering you.
- Take notes – This is vital if you want to get your wife back. You need to pay attention to fix your marriage.
The Conversation
The ground work is in place and now you absolutely have to stick to the rules. When you meet be polite and treat this more as a business meeting than a chance to woo her. Do not bring flowers or a bag full of big promises about how you will change; that all comes later. For now your job is to do everything you said you would in the letter and start to discover all of the problems you have.
If she gets off track make sure to bring the conversation back to where you need to be. Do not argue or be confrontational. After you have each aired out problems talk about what you each appreciate about each other. Again take notes. Look at the positive aspects you provide to each other and understand that there is a foundation to work from. Yes you have cracks but those can be repaired and you can get back your wife.
After you are done talking a hug and kiss on the cheek is fine. This will feel a bit weird or strange as many relationships that get to this point do not involve conversations that are this meaningful. But now that you have started, hopefully this will be an important lesson for you about how important communication is to a relationship. One of the keys of how to get back your wife is learning to communicate properly and let her see that you can listen and understand. Now that you have a list of the good and bad in your relationship you are ready to start doing repairs to the foundation.
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