Two of the most important points you need to understand if you want to get your wife back are the sayings, “Actions speak louder than words,” and “Men don’t change.” This first is absolutely true and the second is completely false. But you need to fully embrace both ideas because they are vital to repairing damage in any relationship as well as building a stronger future.
Marriage and all long relationships develop patterns and routines over time. Some can be wonderful while others are harmful and eventually destructive. The bad patterns need to be broken. You can’t be afraid to change these patterns first. This is a key point of proving to yourself as well as her that you want a successful marriage and you want to get back your wife.
Talk is cheap
In essence many couples have the same arguments over and over without resolution. Over time these issues, if big enough, will cause cracks in the foundation of the relationship and eventually cause the split. “You always say you will do that but it never changes!” It doesn’t matter what the subject was, the simple fact is that because the actions do not support the words there is no value is saying them anymore. It is like the boy who cried wolf. She just doesn’t believe what you say.
That is fine. If you are truly going to change things about yourself and fix your relationship then hollow words mean nothing. It is your actions that will truly prove to her that you are serious. Look at that list of complaints again. You have already addressed issues about yourself you want to change which will be of benefit to both her and your own happiness and thus your happiness together. Now what else can you tackle?
Men can change
It is irksome to hear but sometimes accurate that men don’t change. We are very much creatures of habit who hate when other people try to make us what we don’t want to do. A better assessment is ‘Men don’t change due to a woman’s pestering.’ But if you are truly deciding to change for the better because you want to satisfy and make your spouse happy then that is another story. You are doing this because you want to for her, not because she is nagging you to do it. That is not a big difference to some people but yet it is still very much a distinction in attitude.
Start with the list of complaints. “He never helps out around the house.” “I wish he would surprise me like he used to.” “Why does he always leave the seat up?” “You always stare at other women.” You have to understand that her feelings are being hurt in one way or another by the things you aren’t doing. Understanding that these little things will make her happy and appreciate you should be motivation enough. So it is time to change and let your actions show that you want things to be better.
The key to changing and doing things better is not only the acts but also the manner they are being done. This is not an occasion to brag about your accomplishments. Instead create your own plan and system for doing things and then simply do them. Turn it into part of your routine and own it without expecting compliments and fanfare. In the beginning your spouse will likely believe you are only doing it as a show because you are trying to get back your wife. But over time your actions will speak loud and clear to her and she will see the changes you are making as you fix yourself and then prove yourself to her again. After you have done this you are ready to make her feel loved again.
No comments yet.